TESTED.

For those of you who do not know I am about a month deep into a six month challenge. The challenge is to buy nothing that caters to my vanity. No clothes, shoes, makeup, hair anything, jewelry, ect. I have had a few days that were sort of hard. I went to Port Townsend and there was a street vendor with amazing antique jewelry, and some awesome clothes in different stores there. I have seen things here and there that beckon me for sure, but nothing like what I just experienced.

I am looking for an old coffee table to create a train table on, so I decided to check the thrift store on base, which is known for having AMAZING vintage clothes for a dollar and under. There was no coffee table, and I really should have left after realizing that, but I decided to peek at the dress rack. CHEESE AND RICE. One amazing vintage dress after ANOTHER. PEOPLE. I stood there and took them off and looked at them up and down and LUSTED. I imagined what shoes I would wear and how I might do my hair and on what occasion would be prefect for each and every dress. There was a black ruffle baby doll dress that I am sure was boutique, with the tags still on it. I would have worn the holy life out of that dress. THREE DOLLARS. I had it in my hand and just kept thinking, "It's just one dress Brooks. Just one. No biggie." But I knew I couldn't. I wanted to so bad. I was grinding my teeth.

In a way, this is all pretty funny. I am a great thrift shopper, so I generally save money by buying thrift- which is awesome. But the amount of grief I have just experienced over not being able to buy some dresses is really pretty sick. I kept telling myself, "You gotta let go of stuff Brooks. Life is short and none of this matters. It doesn't matter that it is vintage, or cheap. Life is not about joy in buying stuff. God is doing something in you that means more than awesome dresses- even if it isn't obvious right now. Let him do it. Get out of here." So I did.

I wanted to come home and document this immediately because as silly as it seems I really do feel like I was just greatly tested. Now that I have got it all out onto "paper" I feel much better. I see how insignificant those silly dresses are in the grand scheme of things. I am SO glad God get me out of there empty handed. (Well, sort of. I did buy a basket for our remotes and a couple small things for the kids- but nothing for myself, which is what matters.)

Blessings and love ya'll.