For those of you who do not know I am about a month deep into a six month challenge. The challenge is to buy nothing that caters to my vanity. No clothes, shoes, makeup, hair anything, jewelry, ect. I have had a few days that were sort of hard. I went to Port Townsend and there was a street vendor with amazing antique jewelry, and some awesome clothes in different stores there. I have seen things here and there that beckon me for sure, but nothing like what I just experienced.
I am looking for an old coffee table to create a train table on, so I decided to check the thrift store on base, which is known for having AMAZING vintage clothes for a dollar and under. There was no coffee table, and I really should have left after realizing that, but I decided to peek at the dress rack. CHEESE AND RICE. One amazing vintage dress after ANOTHER. PEOPLE. I stood there and took them off and looked at them up and down and LUSTED. I imagined what shoes I would wear and how I might do my hair and on what occasion would be prefect for each and every dress. There was a black ruffle baby doll dress that I am sure was boutique, with the tags still on it. I would have worn the holy life out of that dress. THREE DOLLARS. I had it in my hand and just kept thinking, "It's just one dress Brooks. Just one. No biggie." But I knew I couldn't. I wanted to so bad. I was grinding my teeth.
In a way, this is all pretty funny. I am a great thrift shopper, so I generally save money by buying thrift- which is awesome. But the amount of grief I have just experienced over not being able to buy some dresses is really pretty sick. I kept telling myself, "You gotta let go of stuff Brooks. Life is short and none of this matters. It doesn't matter that it is vintage, or cheap. Life is not about joy in buying stuff. God is doing something in you that means more than awesome dresses- even if it isn't obvious right now. Let him do it. Get out of here." So I did.
I wanted to come home and document this immediately because as silly as it seems I really do feel like I was just greatly tested. Now that I have got it all out onto "paper" I feel much better. I see how insignificant those silly dresses are in the grand scheme of things. I am SO glad God get me out of there empty handed. (Well, sort of. I did buy a basket for our remotes and a couple small things for the kids- but nothing for myself, which is what matters.)
Blessings and love ya'll.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
*_*
It is thankful Sunday ya'll.
I am thankful for healthy children. It is SO easy to take for-granted active, happy and healthy kids, especially if you have never really dealt with chronic/terminal illness personally. I am so blessed to have kids that beg to go outside and to the park. Kids who eat and laugh and run and play. Kids who do what kids are supposed to do. I pray to God I am reminded everyday what an amazing blessing that is.
I am also thankful for friends who you haven't seen in months who can come over and spend 5 hours and it is as if you have been talking everyday, safe travels, quality time with my mom and sister, piercing removals that were a whole let less painful than I expected, and the fact that the cop who pulled me over for speeding today only charged me for 5 over rather than the 20 that I was going.
AND, I am forever grateful to God, for being awesome. For speaking to me through people in my life, and making sure I always know he has my back.
GOD BLESS!
I am thankful for healthy children. It is SO easy to take for-granted active, happy and healthy kids, especially if you have never really dealt with chronic/terminal illness personally. I am so blessed to have kids that beg to go outside and to the park. Kids who eat and laugh and run and play. Kids who do what kids are supposed to do. I pray to God I am reminded everyday what an amazing blessing that is.
I am also thankful for friends who you haven't seen in months who can come over and spend 5 hours and it is as if you have been talking everyday, safe travels, quality time with my mom and sister, piercing removals that were a whole let less painful than I expected, and the fact that the cop who pulled me over for speeding today only charged me for 5 over rather than the 20 that I was going.
AND, I am forever grateful to God, for being awesome. For speaking to me through people in my life, and making sure I always know he has my back.
GOD BLESS!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thankful Sunday.
Oh man, what a weekend. I am thankful for SO much tonight.
1. God. He is so faithful. He is everything I have ever needed, need, or will need. He is everything and I am nothing without him. He knows where I am, and he loves me anyways. He loves me enough to bring me to a place of brokenness when I get too arrogant. He lets me stay broken, just long enough to remember I am nothing without him, and he then lifts me up and sets me back on the path where I belong- renewed and with more faith then I had before. He has fought for me, and won. Died for me and was resurrected. The war has been waged and the battle won- I only have to walk in victory.
2. Grace Community Church. I had no idea why all of a sudden, a few months before I am to leave this island God would have me leave my church home to spend the last bit of time with these other folks. I know why now. I am so glad I listened. I am so blessed to be a part of that family. I am so blessed to worship and break bread with the people there. God knew where I needed to be and he sent me and I am SO SO SO blessed.
3. My parents, Mrs. Vanaster and Daddykins. My ever present help in time of need. I don't know a lot of people who can say they have phenomenal parents. The kind who are always there, always listening, ready to drop everything to reach me where I am- even though I am grown. Parents who speak truth and life and light into my life when all I see is darkness. Parents who remind me who's I am and why I am here and all that I have to be thankful for. Parents who say, "This is the day that the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it..." when I need to hear it most....but who also cry with me, when I need it most. I could not ask for a better mom and dad. They rule.
4. Natasha Noelle Guenther, who's name is perfectly grand. My sister. My amazingly beautiful, loving, joyful, and astounding friend. I love you, I love you, I love you. God gave me you, and you are just as much a gift as my children, as my family. You are my family. You are wise and soulful and honest and simply glorious. My life will never be as it was before you were in it.
5. Siah and Pizee. You ornery rascals keep me grounded when I need it most. When the Daddy is gone and it is just us, and I get in a place, you two bring me back to square one. You love me no matter what. You nuzzle your noses into my neck and tell me I am the best mommy ever and I know you really mean it. You sleep next to me when I don't want to be alone, and even though you steal covers and turn into octopi as you sleep, I appreciate that you are next to me.
As for an update on my no vain purchases challenge...it has been 12 days and I am just fine. I have had a few moments being out and about and seeing something fabulous and picking it up forgetting my challenge, but putting it down when I remembered was not as hard as I thought it would be. I am spending less time in the mirror, closet and gym- because that is just not where my mind is. I know I am supposed to be doing this, and I cannot wait to see where I am 3 or 4 months in.
LOVE YA'LL!!!
1. God. He is so faithful. He is everything I have ever needed, need, or will need. He is everything and I am nothing without him. He knows where I am, and he loves me anyways. He loves me enough to bring me to a place of brokenness when I get too arrogant. He lets me stay broken, just long enough to remember I am nothing without him, and he then lifts me up and sets me back on the path where I belong- renewed and with more faith then I had before. He has fought for me, and won. Died for me and was resurrected. The war has been waged and the battle won- I only have to walk in victory.
2. Grace Community Church. I had no idea why all of a sudden, a few months before I am to leave this island God would have me leave my church home to spend the last bit of time with these other folks. I know why now. I am so glad I listened. I am so blessed to be a part of that family. I am so blessed to worship and break bread with the people there. God knew where I needed to be and he sent me and I am SO SO SO blessed.
3. My parents, Mrs. Vanaster and Daddykins. My ever present help in time of need. I don't know a lot of people who can say they have phenomenal parents. The kind who are always there, always listening, ready to drop everything to reach me where I am- even though I am grown. Parents who speak truth and life and light into my life when all I see is darkness. Parents who remind me who's I am and why I am here and all that I have to be thankful for. Parents who say, "This is the day that the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it..." when I need to hear it most....but who also cry with me, when I need it most. I could not ask for a better mom and dad. They rule.
4. Natasha Noelle Guenther, who's name is perfectly grand. My sister. My amazingly beautiful, loving, joyful, and astounding friend. I love you, I love you, I love you. God gave me you, and you are just as much a gift as my children, as my family. You are my family. You are wise and soulful and honest and simply glorious. My life will never be as it was before you were in it.
5. Siah and Pizee. You ornery rascals keep me grounded when I need it most. When the Daddy is gone and it is just us, and I get in a place, you two bring me back to square one. You love me no matter what. You nuzzle your noses into my neck and tell me I am the best mommy ever and I know you really mean it. You sleep next to me when I don't want to be alone, and even though you steal covers and turn into octopi as you sleep, I appreciate that you are next to me.
As for an update on my no vain purchases challenge...it has been 12 days and I am just fine. I have had a few moments being out and about and seeing something fabulous and picking it up forgetting my challenge, but putting it down when I remembered was not as hard as I thought it would be. I am spending less time in the mirror, closet and gym- because that is just not where my mind is. I know I am supposed to be doing this, and I cannot wait to see where I am 3 or 4 months in.
LOVE YA'LL!!!
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